Meet Actor Mommy CEO: Courtney Locke

Hi Actor Moms (and dads!), my name is Courtney Locke and I am the founder of Actor Mommy Productions. You might have heard my voice on the Actor Mommy podcast or have seen my face on the Actor Mommy instagram. I wanted to formally introduce myself, give you a little backstory and tell you about the amazing things Actor Mommy is going to do this year!

When I found out I was pregnant I was...devastated! After moving to Atlanta instead of New York for my husband's job, I felt like I was finally able to get back on my feet with work. In two months, we had gotten married in the most beautiful venue, I was choreographing a children's show for a major theater, starring in a show and teaching dance full time. I was ecstatic and exhausted but happy to be back on my grind . One night, when I am supposed to lunge from a closet and do a front roll on a bed, I missed the bed and hurt my back. I started seeing a chiropractor regularly again and on December 26th I woke from the dead of sleep and said Something is not right (Cindy-lou Whoo style). Within five seconds of taking the emergency pregnancy test that I kept in my bathroom, that blue line appeared like GIRL YOU PREGNANT! I still blame Dr. Nico.

I sat on the toilet for another ten minutes just staring at that test. Then I took a ballet class where I proceeded to fall apart after I literally fell out of my grande plié and my very sweet but very Russian ballet mistress asked me why I fell. I cried about eight more times that day and then had a major panic attack while lying in bed with my husband. I properly couldn't breathe and couldn't see past that night. What was I gonna do?

My life stopped. There were days when I literally couldn't move and on the days I did, I would throw up somewhere or in something I really didn't want to. I stopped going to auditions because it was like "why bother?" Then I felt a lot of guilt for telling my best friend I was pregnant, two weeks after she told us she was and getting pregnant before our other best friend when I knew she had been wanting and trying to have a baby for a very long time.

I felt a lot of anger towards my husband because I felt like if we had moved to New York when we were supposed to that I would not be pregnant. I also felt like people back home were talking about me. Do you remember Courtney Locke? She was moving to become an actress and now she is pregnant and barefoot living in Georgia. I am not sure anyone actually said this but it was how I felt.

After my morning sickness finally wore off and my haze of I don't want this cleared ; I saw the light and I was not ready to give up on my goals or my career. At six months pregnant, I not only auditioned for the Rockettes (in my La Ducas and my pregnancy belt) but also had managed to get a callback dancing for THE Debbie Allen. She was six feet from my face! Her daughter was teaching the audition combination after recently giving birth with her child in toe. I was filled with excitement and happiness. Maybe I could do this and the industry was more accepting than I thought. I didn't book the job and I tell myself its because they could't have a nine month pregnant woman on set. Whatever the reason, I got to talk to Debbie Allen and it will be a moment that I will never forget.